Being the spouse of a wounded warrior is a challenging position to be in for many reasons. But the one I find the hardest is the responsibility that lies on my shoulders. Responsibilities that are shared by most married couples tend to fall heavily on the uninjured spouse. This means I have a huge amount of added stress and pressure without a partner to help divide and conquer.
Housing is a huge issue for us. I have written about it before, the frustrations that go along with that issue and the invisibility of Allen's injuries. So, today, I took a step to hopefully begin to solve this issue. I officially put our house on the market. I'm not certain this is the step I need to be taking, but that is where my faith is coming through. Allen's team at The Pathway Home feel that our housing issues are a huge part of his well being. However, they also do not want to tell me what to do, or even give their opinion for that matter. (I think they are afraid of some type of liability if they direct me one way and it doesn't work out.) They do say though that this location is not good for him and his mental state, and that a fresh start would be beneficial for all of us.
I have made myself sick worrying and thinking about what to do. I know that if we do not want all of the hard work he has done to be undone, we need to move. I also know that if Allen does not get well enough to return home to live, I am going to have to quickly find a job to support me and the boys which would be much more doable in this house. So, I've decided that we need to put the house on the market and see what happens, in order to give Allen a safer place to call home. If God's plan for our family includes moving, then our house will sell. If it doesn't, it won't. It sounds pretty simple, but that doesn't mean it's easy. I find myself getting anxious constantly and have to reassure myself that God does have a plan for us and He will make it clear what that plan is. I just have to remember to breathe and listen! Any and all prayers would be appreciated!!