Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Some Encouragement Today

As I last blogged about, I've really been wrestling with a great deal of stress the last couple of weeks. I have not yet heard back from my husband's counselor, but have done some research, talked to some other close friends/family, and am reassured it will all be okay. I know that I have the love and support to get through just about anything.

Through all of this I also know that Allen has really been struggling. We went about five days without even talking at all, which is not normal. While he's been in California, we have talked almost everyday, until last week. I was struggling, he was struggling, not a great combination for good communication between the two of us! Thankfully, this week has been much better on many fronts!

I talked to Allen this afternoon and was really encouraged after our call. He is still really struggling but it is to be expected as he is working really hard processing some of his most difficult trauma. He actually told me that he shared with his group stuff that he thought he would take to his grave with him. He shared stuff that he really thought he would never tell anyone. This made me so excited it was crazy! I think this is an incredible break through in his therapy. I know that he will never be cured and that PTSD is something that we will always have to live with. However, I also know that he can get it better and learn some coping strategies that will greatly reduce the symptoms and the extent to which it affects our lives. I am really excited to know that he is sharing parts of his trauma that he never thought he would. I think this is huge to him getting some control of his life back! And let me just say, I can't imagine how bad this particular stuff he is talking about must have been. I say this because I have been in most of his therapy sessions for the last three years, and I have heard stuff you can't even imagine. It is hard for me to believe that he had so much more, that was worse than what he had already shared. It makes me excited that he is willing and able to share it now, in a safe environment. I think I am also glad that I didn't have to be in the session where he shared. Not that I wouldn't listen, but man, he's been a part of horrible trauma and I'm not sure I need to hear it all. And, while it makes me excited and hopeful, it also breaks my heart that he has to live with such horrific memories.

I just wanted to share what might be a turning point in my families life. It may not end up being as big of a key as I think it might, we will just have to wait and see. But, I am hopeful!! I am also so proud of the hard work that my husband is doing. I know that he truly wants to get better and that we are much of the reason he wants this so badly. His strength and determination continues to amaze me!

Even Now.......Gina


  1. Hugs and hope for you! Sounds good!

    And just wanted to pass along a big thank you for your last comment on my blog. It really allowed me some clarity :)

  2. So good reading of hope! Thank you for sharing the journey. Blessings.

  3. Gina, that is so exciting. I know that was a huge turning point for us. When I was there we had a day when I heard some things like you I never thought he would get out. I can't imagine these men carrying this stuff around in their souls. No wonder they are so hurt, angry and confused. I believe that Allen will learn the skills and tools he needs because I have living proof of it. You keep your chin up. You are amazing and a wonderful friend. God is in control. We have to remember it is all in him time. I love you friend.

  4. Gina,

    That is HUGE. It is amazing. As horrible as it is for him to have to face those memories, it is great he releases them. Great signs of good things to come. I really think that PTSD is forever as well, but I think there are definite ways to make it a bit more liveable.

    It was so awesome to have met you guys. What facility is Allen at now?

    Hugs from Texas!

    1. Tara,

      Allen is home now! He came home with us from vacation from Extreme and has been here ever since! He's really doing well.

      So glad to see Todd is doing so good! It was great meeting you guys and hopefully our paths will cross again sometime!