I just want to give a little update on us since my last post was mostly ranting! We are all doing well. Allen hasn’t had any more bad nights since my last post and seems to be doing pretty well. I did encourage him to talk to his doctor about changing the ambien. I do not like the things he does when taking this medication and he has no memory of it. He just has really bizarre behavior and has a hard time deciphering reality from dreams. He has taken lunesta before and did not have those adverse side affects.
This week they have big visitors as The Pathway Home they have all been getting ready for. Tim McGraw and Faith Hill are going to be there most of the week hanging out and then wrapping it up with a concert that the vets will be honored at. I can’t wait to hear all about how these days go. I think it is great that they (Tim and Faith) are doing this. It is also great to see such big celebrities doing it for the right reasons, without cameras and publicity tagging along to show how much they do. That just shows their class and that they are truly doing it all for the right reasons!
The boys are doing well. Our 14 year old son is doing great in school and getting ready for basketball season to start. Our youngest who is 7 is also doing great in school. He is currently taking a musical theatre class thanks to a grant we received from Our Military Kids and is loving it! They are doing a small production next month and he has one of the lead parts as Humpty Dumpty.
I am also doing great! At times, I get pretty lonely and really miss my husband. However, I’m not sure I would really be that much less lonely even if he were home with us. Being the spouse of a combat wounded veteran can be very lonely. Many of us are married to men we have to get to know again once they come home from war. Our husband’s are changed in every way and therefore it is difficult to relate at times. This creates a struggle which is extremely frustrating for both sides. I know that my husband remembers what he used to be like and frequently states that he just wants to be who he used to be. That has to be frustrating. Then there is pressure added in by family members who love and miss the person they used to be. It ends up being a vicious cycle that we have to be conscience of so that it doesn’t destroy us. I think, most days my family does a great job managing this struggle, but one we have to be constantly aware of.
I am busy running the boys around, volunteering, and just spending time doing the things I love to do. I’ve been going to lunch with friends, catching up with old friends, reading, volunteering, and many other things. I am enjoying the freedom and the time I have been able to spend focusing on myself and our boys. I’ve seen a big improvement in the boys and my relationship with them. It has been exciting to see the transformations in all of us.