Monday, December 5, 2011


One of the greatest things I struggle with is how and when to help my husband when I see him beginning to slip.  After almost 4 really good months, I am really beginning to see some pretty big signs that my husband is slipping again.  I know what his rock bottom looks like, and I NEVER want to see that again.

This time of year is typically very hard for him.  I always see more depression and other symptoms come to the surface during this time of the year.  I guess I had just hoped that it was going to be different this year.

About a month ago the not sleeping at night started again.  We made a slight adjustment to meds in order to help this but not sure it has.  He's still not sleeping well at night and then he wants to sleep all day.  I hate this vicious cycle.  I talk to him and he agrees with me and stays awake and busy for a couple of days, but then goes right back to sleeping during the day again.  He can even tell me what the sleep experts say about this, but then can't follow through.  I think the not sleeping fuels the depression, which in turn fuels the sleeping during the day.  He uses it as an avoidance, as a way of isolating.  I see it, talk to him about it, think he gets it, but then here we are again every couple of days.  I begin feeling like a nagging wife constantly riding him about what he's doing or not doing and I hate it!!  However, the other side is if I just leave him alone, he will spend his entire day in bed and then once again not sleep at night.  I can't seem to find the balance in supporting him.

He plans to start school again next month and I've really struggled with whether or not this is a good idea.  On the one hand, it will give him something to get up for everyday.  It is something he has wanted to do for a long time and has the opportunity to go again.  However, the other side of that is the added stress school is going to bring which is never good for him.  Ultimately it is his decision, but I worry none the less.

Thankfully, this too shall pass.  Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

Even Now........Gina


  1. Gina,
    Zac is having the same problems. He isn't sleeping at night and falling asleep just as the sun comes up. He told me tonight that he doesn't see any light at the end of the tunnel and feels like a waste of space.
    It's hard, so hard to watch this happen, and not that it's any consolation, I know how you feel and you aren't alone.


  2. Gina,
    I completely understand what is happening, the sad part is it is happening to different members of our entire family at different times, so once one problem is fixed another pops up! It can be so frustrating! Scott actually called me last night and told me he is depressed and wants to go do something with me. Shopping was usually our way to get out of the house and just hang together so I think we are going to do that on Thursday, anyway maybe you and Allen can meet us for lunch in KC? Maybe this will help both?
    Know I am thinking about you!

  3. Hey Gina, my name is Ben King. It sounds like I was in Iraq the same time your husband. It took me a lot of trail and error before I got sorted out, but I made it through. I have started a blog called Armor Down to help others with the transition. Maybe your husband could find it useful? Thanks for what you are doing. All the best.