For more information please contact me, Gina Hill at gina.hill@silentsiren.org or call 785-242-1319. Registration is open now and ends July 20th!! Don't wait, get your teams registered today!!
Monday, July 9, 2012
1st Annual Silent Siren Salutes Summer
For more information please contact me, Gina Hill at gina.hill@silentsiren.org or call 785-242-1319. Registration is open now and ends July 20th!! Don't wait, get your teams registered today!!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
National PTSD Awareness Day
One way, we can all make a difference is by educating ourselves and by passing information along through our social media sites. This is a very simple task and can be done by anyone. There are so many great resources out there about PTSD that are easy to understand and share. Below is a list of some of my favorites.
- www.silentsiren.org Silent Siren is the organization that Allen and I founded to help families supporting a loved one with PTSD gain confidence in the Emergency System when in crisis and to educate emergency responders about PTSD. You can find information about PTSD and mental illness in general through our website. Connect on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Silent-Siren/248325948549110.
- www.karlasmithfoundation.org Karla Smith Foundation is the parent organization of Silent Siren and "supports families affected by mental illness and suicide." Under their learn more tab you can find information, support, resources, and coping strategies. Find KSF on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/KarlaSmithFoundation.
- www.tugmcgraw.org Tug McGraw Foundation "provides resources and hands-on support, fosters understanding, promotes awareness, and stimulates research and scientific collaboration to improve the quality of life for people with brain-related trauma and tumors." They recently launched a redesigned website that has great information on TBI, PTSD, and brain tumors and includes information for caregivers. It also includes an interactive message board for each of their areas of focus. https://www.facebook.com/tugmcgrawfoundation to connect on facebook.
- www.familyofavet.com Family of a Vet "helps veterans and the people who love them, find their way, find information, and to find a way not only to cope with life after combat....but to survive and thrive." From their website you can find many articles about just about anything related to PTSD and secondary PTSD. To find FOV on facebook go to https://www.facebook.com/LifeAfterCombat
- www.ptsd.va.gov/ The National Center for PTSD has tons of information regarding PTSD for the public and professionals. While this Center is a part of the VA, this information provided here is not explicitly for veterans.
Even Now........Gina
Thursday, June 7, 2012
"Ya Gotta Believe"
Attending an event like this was something we will never forget. This was an enormous milestone for Allen in his recovery of PTSD. A year ago, we never would have imagined that we would be at a gun club together where live ammunition was being fired! It was the first time for Allen to be around live fire since he was in Iraq over 4 years ago. Up until now, we have been afraid of what might happen in a situation with live fire. I can't begin to tell you what this day meant for us! Not only did it show us that Allen has come so far, it also showed us that Allen is capable of doing anything he sets his mind to. The confidence this event built for both of us is life changing. While we know that PTSD will be with him for the rest of his life, we also know that it doesn't have to be a show stopper. He has put in the hard work to learn strategies to help him live life to the fullest and attending this event proved it!
Our day started at 5:00 am when the alarm went off. Both of us were wondering why we had agreed to do the media requests, but once we were moving that thought was quickly forgotten. At 6:00 am the ABC affiliate was at the gun club to do live shots throughout their morning show. The main event began at 9:00 am with practice opening up. The first shot rang out and Allen didn't even flinch! He sniffed the air for the smell of gun powder and smiled! Not too long ago, that smell sent him to a very dark place. The day would only get better from here! The National Anthem played and the event kicked off with a small talk from Jennifer Brusstar, executive director of Tug McGraw Foundation followed by Mark McGraw who had organized the event.
Soon the shooters were all off. The teams were made up of four people plus a professional shooter and a celebrity. Allen and I went down on the course and he loved it! He learned a lot about the sport and spent quite a bit of time with Terry Hetrick, a pro shooter from the Nashville Gun Club. Allen can't wait to go back!!
Josh also presented Allen with a framed flag that he had flown over Afghanistan on 11-11-11. It was an incredibly nice gesture and we were deeply touched. Allen has already found the perfect place for it to hang and he will always cherish it.
Allen and I will definitely be at the 2nd Annual TMF Celebrity Shootout and will be bringing along the boys! We can't wait as we are sure it will be another fantastic day! Terry promised Allen that he was saving a spot on his team for Makale next year but he may just have to save one for Allen as well!!
Thanks to Bobby Brooks, Mark McGraw, Jennifer Brusstar, Tim McGraw and all of the celebrities, Josh Richmond, Terry Hetrick, Sherri and Jenni Clark, all of the sponsors, and everyone else involved in making this event such a spectacular day in our lives. You will never know the impact it had on us and the huge step it was in Allen's walk with PTSD.
The steps that Allen continues to take amaze me everyday. His courage and strength inspire me to be the best that I can be. (Sorry, that sounds kind of like an Army commercial!) He is truly my hero! "Ya Gotta Believe!!"
Even Now.......Gina
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Laughing
“A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around.”
Carolyn Birmingham -
It's been a really long time since I've heard Allen's true, full, belly laugh. It's been so long in fact that I think I may have forgotten what it sounded like. However, the last couple of months, I've been noticing it creeping back in to our lives. At first, it really caught me off guard. It sounded almost foreign to my ears. I listened and relished the sound.
Today we had a neighborhood block picnic at our house. It was the annual HOA meeting so we volunteered to have it at our house so that everyone could see the house and the kids could enjoy the pool. It was a beautiful day for it and I think most of the neighbors were here. We had our meeting, ate, played, showed them the house and just got to know everyone. It was really a great time. As people were starting to leave, I noticed a group of the men in the garage with Allen checking out the project truck. He was so excited showing them the truck and the progress they have made. It is so amazing to see him putting himself out there again, to engage in conversations, to interact with people and even more amazing that they are people he really doesn't know that well. This is a huge thing for him. But, even better than all of that, is hearing him laugh. That true, deep, joyful laugh that has been missing for a very long time. I heard it many times throughout the afternoon today, and each time I took note. I relish the sound each time I hear it. It stands out to me. It reminds me of where we've been and how far we've come. I hope that this is something that I will cherish the rest of my life. We tend to take so much for granted in this world, and I hope that this is something that I never will.
As I sit and think about the sound of Allen's laugh, I find myself wondering if this is the way his laugh has always sounded, or if it truly has changed. It sounds so foreign to me, but I am not sure if that's because it has changed like most everything else about him, or if it's just been so long since I've truly heard it that it sounds so new again. At first, I thought it had changed. However, after thinking about it, I'm not convinced it has. I've written before about his voice changing so it very well could be that the sound of his laugh has changed just as his voice did. I'm leaning more towards the fact that it has just been too long since I've heard it that I notice it again. Absence does make the heart grow fonder! Either way, I'll take it and cherish it as often as I can get it!
Even Now.........Gina
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Friends, Healing, and a '57 Chevy
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| Allen, Stacy King, and Bill King with the '57 Chevy |
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| Bill King, Makale, Allen, and Dreyson |
One of the greatest blessings we have received since joining the world of wounded warriors are all of the amazing friendships we have developed that we never would have had the opportunity for before. So many astounding people have crossed our path since Allen's injury, and many we are able to now call our friends! One such couple is Bill and Stacy King. We had the honor of meeting Bill and Stacy back in August 2011, after they had helped all week long on the build for our house.
Bill and Stacy are extremely generous, loving, and just overall "good people." They have a moving personal story as well and we are honored to be able to call them our friends. The first time we met them was just a couple of weeks after the build. Allen and Bill had the chance to sit down for a conversation and soon discovered their combined love for 57 Chevy pick ups. Allen had expressed to Bill that his dream was to get a project vehicle to restore with the boys and an old Chevy Pickup would be his dream. Bill shared with Allen that he actually had 57 Chevy that he had restored and was his first vehicle. He later asked me if he could get that truck back would it be ok for him to give it to Allen and the boys to restore. I said that would be great but we by all means didn't expect them to just give us a vehicle. Bill expressed his interest in being able to do this for all of us and that he would be in touch but it probably wouldn't happen until the spring.
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| Dreyson trying out the driver's seat |
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| 1957 Chevy 3100 Pickup in Infantry Blue |
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| Taking out the radiator |
Soon, his dream came true when Bill and Stacy came up the driveway pulling a trailer and a 1957 Chevy! We were all ecstatic and the fact that it was "infantry" blue made it even better! (We have since found out it is more of a turquoise blue, but it's close enough.) Our friendship has grown so much with the King's through this journey, it is really quite indescribable. All I can really say is it was all definitely part of the plan for our lives and was truly meant to be for so many reasons.
A couple of weeks after they dropped off the truck, Bill and Stacy came back for the weekend. Bill and Allen worked on the truck while Stacy and I ran parts for them and just hung out together. We all had such a great time and our friendship blossomed even more. I think that it has been such a joy for all of us throughout this whole process. Healing has happened all the way around and the truck is on it's way to "healing" as well!
I am excited to see the process as it all unfolds. I will do my best to update here the progress with the truck as well as all involved. We are looking forward to Bill and Stacy visiting again in a couple of weeks and we will see how the truck changes then.
Oh, and by the way, every project vehicle like this gets a name and Allen has proudly decided to call this truck the "King!" Thank you Bill and Stacy for your friendship as well as all you have done for our family. You guys hold a very special place in all of our hearts!!
Even Now.........Gina
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Always Behind
Ahhhhhhhh, it seems I'm always trying to catch up lately!! There have been several things I have wanted to blog about but just haven't gotten around to it. So, now I'm playing catch up!!
Last month, Allen and I were asked to speak at an American Legion Birthday party. They really wanted Allen to speak, but also understood if he couldn't do it. This was a big thing for him and took a little convincing that he could do it. He has a really hard time being motivated to do much of anything much of the time. As the date approached I really wasn't sure what was going to happen. I had told them that I thought Allen was going to do it, but that they had to be flexible and open to him backing out at the last minute. However, this is not easy for me! I still am not completely comfortable doing public speaking so I am very regimented in preparing to do an event. Allen is polar opposite. He never prepares anything, and just basically flies by the seat of his pants. He doesn't stress or anything, while I am a nervous wreck! So, this flexibility I had to have was killing me!!
Finally the night before we were supposed to show up, Allen committed to doing it. We talked about it and (somewhat) planned what he would talk about and decided that he was going to pass it off to me so that I could talk about Silent Siren. I was pretty confident that I could discuss Silent Siren without having it all written out so decided that I too, would wing it.
We arrived at the Legion about an hour before it was all supposed to start. Allen had never been there before and instantly tensed up and was hyper vigilant. I was pretty worried that I indeed was going to have to wing more than just my little explanation about Silent Siren. So as I'm getting more and more nervous, I am also trying to calm Allen down and keep him in the moment. Frankie is a life saver in these situations as well. She knows him so well that she instantly gets to work. Thankfully, they were serving a dinner before the program part of the evening which helped get Allen a little more acclimated to the new environment and also distracted him. After the dinner was complete, Allen was actually pretty calm and said he could do it, much to my relief!!
After he was introduced, we both went to the podium and he began his speech. He talked about service dogs and Puppies Behind Bars. He spoke of how much Frankie has changed his life and how she works for him. It was really very educational and I could tell that the audience was really receiving him well. Part of his brain injury though is that he is easily distracted and tends to talk in circles a little bit. (I just had my foot near him where I could gently nudge him to let him know he was wandering.) He did really well. He also got so caught up that he explained Silent Siren before he turned it over to me. Then he remembered to turn it over to me but he had already explained what I was supposed to explain!! It all turned out fine in the end and I was able to explain a little more about our program Silent Siren.
After we were finished, a group called the KC Betty's performed. They were so cute and a lot of fun to watch. Allen got a kick out of their performance but especially their song, Straighten up and Fly Right. His grandma used to sing that song to him and he in turn has sang it to our kids. We all sing it now!! If you've not heard of the Betty's you should definitely check them out http://www.facebook.com/kcbettys!! We are hoping to do some work with them in the future to help promote Silent Siren.
It is so amazing watching Allen come out of the PTSD shell more often. Seeing him with a genuine smile on his face isn't such a rarity anymore. Hearing his deep belly laugh happens more and more! It is hard to put into words how much it means to us all to have a part of him back home with us finally after so long. We are definitely blessed!!
Finally the night before we were supposed to show up, Allen committed to doing it. We talked about it and (somewhat) planned what he would talk about and decided that he was going to pass it off to me so that I could talk about Silent Siren. I was pretty confident that I could discuss Silent Siren without having it all written out so decided that I too, would wing it.
We arrived at the Legion about an hour before it was all supposed to start. Allen had never been there before and instantly tensed up and was hyper vigilant. I was pretty worried that I indeed was going to have to wing more than just my little explanation about Silent Siren. So as I'm getting more and more nervous, I am also trying to calm Allen down and keep him in the moment. Frankie is a life saver in these situations as well. She knows him so well that she instantly gets to work. Thankfully, they were serving a dinner before the program part of the evening which helped get Allen a little more acclimated to the new environment and also distracted him. After the dinner was complete, Allen was actually pretty calm and said he could do it, much to my relief!!
After he was introduced, we both went to the podium and he began his speech. He talked about service dogs and Puppies Behind Bars. He spoke of how much Frankie has changed his life and how she works for him. It was really very educational and I could tell that the audience was really receiving him well. Part of his brain injury though is that he is easily distracted and tends to talk in circles a little bit. (I just had my foot near him where I could gently nudge him to let him know he was wandering.) He did really well. He also got so caught up that he explained Silent Siren before he turned it over to me. Then he remembered to turn it over to me but he had already explained what I was supposed to explain!! It all turned out fine in the end and I was able to explain a little more about our program Silent Siren.
After we were finished, a group called the KC Betty's performed. They were so cute and a lot of fun to watch. Allen got a kick out of their performance but especially their song, Straighten up and Fly Right. His grandma used to sing that song to him and he in turn has sang it to our kids. We all sing it now!! If you've not heard of the Betty's you should definitely check them out http://www.facebook.com/kcbettys!! We are hoping to do some work with them in the future to help promote Silent Siren.
It is so amazing watching Allen come out of the PTSD shell more often. Seeing him with a genuine smile on his face isn't such a rarity anymore. Hearing his deep belly laugh happens more and more! It is hard to put into words how much it means to us all to have a part of him back home with us finally after so long. We are definitely blessed!!
Even Now.......Gina
Monday, March 12, 2012
De-Stressing
As I've talked about before, this year our family is really focusing on balance in our lives. We are in a much more stable place than we have been the last few years, so now finding balance is key. All of us struggle with this, we just don't often realize it or focus on it. So, in striving to find balance, I've also learned that I have to de-stress a little.
This morning I came across a list of obvious ways to de-stress http://www.greatist.com/happiness/14-really-obvious-rules-for-not-stressing-out/. There are some really great ideas here, and while they are very obvious, for most of us we just don't take the time to do them. The one that I have done a lot of lately is unplugging. The last couple of years, I have spent a great deal of time on my computer researching, networking, you name it. I was actually probably somewhat addicted to it. It made me crazy if I couldn't check my email, facebook, and blog regularly, multiple times a day. Shortly after the holidays, I had just kind of had enough. I guess you could say I was burnt out to some degree and took a step back for quite a while. I didn't even miss it!! It was great and very freeing for me. (However, my blog has not been updated near like I would like and I often feel very guilty about that.) In the big picture though, this has helped me a ton. I no longer feel anxious if I don't go online for a day or even for a whole weekend!
With this has also come more time spent with my family. Sometimes, things can overtake a big portion of our time and we don't even realize it. Once again, it's all about balance.
I hope some of these tips from this article will help you realize how easy it can be to just take a little bit of time for yourself everyday and how much that can help reduce the stress in your life.
This morning I came across a list of obvious ways to de-stress http://www.greatist.com/happiness/14-really-obvious-rules-for-not-stressing-out/. There are some really great ideas here, and while they are very obvious, for most of us we just don't take the time to do them. The one that I have done a lot of lately is unplugging. The last couple of years, I have spent a great deal of time on my computer researching, networking, you name it. I was actually probably somewhat addicted to it. It made me crazy if I couldn't check my email, facebook, and blog regularly, multiple times a day. Shortly after the holidays, I had just kind of had enough. I guess you could say I was burnt out to some degree and took a step back for quite a while. I didn't even miss it!! It was great and very freeing for me. (However, my blog has not been updated near like I would like and I often feel very guilty about that.) In the big picture though, this has helped me a ton. I no longer feel anxious if I don't go online for a day or even for a whole weekend!
With this has also come more time spent with my family. Sometimes, things can overtake a big portion of our time and we don't even realize it. Once again, it's all about balance.
I hope some of these tips from this article will help you realize how easy it can be to just take a little bit of time for yourself everyday and how much that can help reduce the stress in your life.
Even Now.......Gina
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Silent Siren: What's New
We have our website up and running and we think it looks great! We also have a facebook page that is relatively active and growing each week. Please take a look at our website and let us know what you think. Also, join us on facebook and share us, so that we can continue to grow and spread the word about Silent Siren.
We have our advisory council in place and working hard with our core team in developing different aspects of our program. Currently, we are in development of our educational programs for emergency services personnel as well as for family members supporting a loved one with PTSD. These programs are a crucial part of Silent Siren and we are engaging key individuals from a variety of backgrounds to get these programs right!
It will probably be a few more months before we are officially launched in a community. We are in talks with some communities that are very interested in starting Silent Siren. We will keep you posted!!
As with any non profit organization, fundraising is an ongoing concern and project! We will be having some events in the near future in order to raise funds in order for us to stay in business! If anyone is willing to help us in this manner, please let us know!
The mission of Silent Siren is to build strong community collaborations that enhance and expand existing community crisis intervention/support for military service individuals and their families.
We believe that the following actions and approaches will help achieve this mission:
1. Empower persons supporting an individual with PTSD to utilize local emergency support services.
2. Educate emergency support personnel and military families and caregivers about PTSD and the fundamental approaches to responding to PTSD crisis situations.
3. Engage local community counseling & support resources who can be readily available to navigate family members and caregivers through crisis situation.
Please watch for more updates here but also visit us on facebook and at www.silentsiren.org.
Even Now.......Gina
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Remembering to Take Care of Me
After all of the excitement our family had the second half of 2011, I had to take a step away from some things. I needed a break. It was extremely hard for me to take that step back, but I couldn't afford not to. I was quickly becoming burnt out and overwhelmed with everything. We had a huge spot light put on us, which brought many blessings to us, but it also added a huge amount of stress. I managed to hold it all together until after our episode of EMHE aired, but after that I pretty much crashed for a couple of months.
This break ended up being a break from technology to some degree. I rarely got on my computer, didn't watch much news, and pretty much vegged out as much as I could. I felt really guilty during this time, but I had to do it in order to take care of me. Everyone in my family also happened to get sick a couple of times during this hiatus I took, so that just confirmed to me that we all really just needed some downtime.
I have had a bit of a slow start in 2012 getting back to it all, but I feel that I finally am getting back into the swing of it all. I feel energized and ready to get back to advocating for families like ours as well as continuing to take care of my family.
Our program Silent Siren is really coming together. We are still in infancy, but we are making some serious strides in development. While working on some of the education pieces last week, the topic of self care for the caregiver was brought up. It really got me thinking about taking care of myself and how I do that. It is so often to forget this part when I get caught up in taking care of everyone else!
One of the things that I do to take care of me is to read. I read a lot of things about PTSD and other "work" topics, but I LOVE to read just for fun too. So, I've spent quite a bit of time the last couple of months reading, just for fun. It is a great escape for me to read a novel, that has nothing to do with my real life. I can travel to a different place, or time and just get lost. I realize how much I've missed it the last year when my life felt so busy I didn't have time to pick up my kindle and just read. It has been so great to get back to this great escape for me.
When my life gets crazy and hectic, I have to remember that I need to still take care of me. Sometimes I forget this and it takes someone or an event to remind me. However, this year as we all seek to find balance in our life (what my family is focusing on this year), I have to constantly remember it's ok to take some time for me.
Now, a little update on Allen.......we saw his psychiatrist last week and we made a medication change and will see him again in a couple of months to see how things are going. I still see him struggling, but I have to say that he is so much better, even on his bad days, than he was a year ago and we are so thankful. I'm going to close this with a picture of Allen and I from an event with our partner organization, Karla Smith Foundation last November. I LOVE this picture of the two of us.
This break ended up being a break from technology to some degree. I rarely got on my computer, didn't watch much news, and pretty much vegged out as much as I could. I felt really guilty during this time, but I had to do it in order to take care of me. Everyone in my family also happened to get sick a couple of times during this hiatus I took, so that just confirmed to me that we all really just needed some downtime.
I have had a bit of a slow start in 2012 getting back to it all, but I feel that I finally am getting back into the swing of it all. I feel energized and ready to get back to advocating for families like ours as well as continuing to take care of my family.
Our program Silent Siren is really coming together. We are still in infancy, but we are making some serious strides in development. While working on some of the education pieces last week, the topic of self care for the caregiver was brought up. It really got me thinking about taking care of myself and how I do that. It is so often to forget this part when I get caught up in taking care of everyone else!
One of the things that I do to take care of me is to read. I read a lot of things about PTSD and other "work" topics, but I LOVE to read just for fun too. So, I've spent quite a bit of time the last couple of months reading, just for fun. It is a great escape for me to read a novel, that has nothing to do with my real life. I can travel to a different place, or time and just get lost. I realize how much I've missed it the last year when my life felt so busy I didn't have time to pick up my kindle and just read. It has been so great to get back to this great escape for me.
When my life gets crazy and hectic, I have to remember that I need to still take care of me. Sometimes I forget this and it takes someone or an event to remind me. However, this year as we all seek to find balance in our life (what my family is focusing on this year), I have to constantly remember it's ok to take some time for me.
Now, a little update on Allen.......we saw his psychiatrist last week and we made a medication change and will see him again in a couple of months to see how things are going. I still see him struggling, but I have to say that he is so much better, even on his bad days, than he was a year ago and we are so thankful. I'm going to close this with a picture of Allen and I from an event with our partner organization, Karla Smith Foundation last November. I LOVE this picture of the two of us.
Even Now.......Gina
Friday, February 3, 2012
The Ups and Downs of PTSD
Even when things are good, are they really? For those of us who live with PTSD everyday, the good times are good, but there is still always that question of when is it going to drop. We never know when something is going to trigger the PTSD and send the entire family slipping down a very slippery slope.
Overall, our family is in a much better place these days. However, I notice more and more days and even weeks, that are not turning out so well. Twice this week, Allen has gotten up in the morning to help get the kids out the door for school and then climbs back into bed the first chance he gets. I understand wanting to do this, the idea of it is what makes me get up everyday! I tell myself I must get up but after the boys are at school I can go back to bed. The difference is, I never do. When Allen does, we can kiss the whole day goodbye because getting him up again is next to impossible.
This has been going on now for several weeks. I kept telling myself that once he started taking his class this would change. He would have something to get up for, some motivation, something to look forward to. He loves his class. It makes him feel productive and alive. It did get better the first couple of weeks so I thought we were on the up and up again. Well, not so much. He's really struggling with the depression side of PTSD right now and I feel so helpless. Once again, I find myself not sure how much to push him, and how much to just let him be. After all, he is a grown man, and he deserves to be able to make these choices. He also deserves to be able to go back to bed if he's tired, once in a while. The problem is, I'm afraid it's becoming a habit. A more often than not kind of thing.
Thankfully, he sees his psychiatrist at the VA next week. There may be some medication changes coming which are also usually not a very fun time. However, we've been through much worse, and I know this is all just a part of the normal cycle of chronic PTSD. I also know that God is in control and has a plan for all of us. I find great comfort in that!
Overall, our family is in a much better place these days. However, I notice more and more days and even weeks, that are not turning out so well. Twice this week, Allen has gotten up in the morning to help get the kids out the door for school and then climbs back into bed the first chance he gets. I understand wanting to do this, the idea of it is what makes me get up everyday! I tell myself I must get up but after the boys are at school I can go back to bed. The difference is, I never do. When Allen does, we can kiss the whole day goodbye because getting him up again is next to impossible.
This has been going on now for several weeks. I kept telling myself that once he started taking his class this would change. He would have something to get up for, some motivation, something to look forward to. He loves his class. It makes him feel productive and alive. It did get better the first couple of weeks so I thought we were on the up and up again. Well, not so much. He's really struggling with the depression side of PTSD right now and I feel so helpless. Once again, I find myself not sure how much to push him, and how much to just let him be. After all, he is a grown man, and he deserves to be able to make these choices. He also deserves to be able to go back to bed if he's tired, once in a while. The problem is, I'm afraid it's becoming a habit. A more often than not kind of thing.
Thankfully, he sees his psychiatrist at the VA next week. There may be some medication changes coming which are also usually not a very fun time. However, we've been through much worse, and I know this is all just a part of the normal cycle of chronic PTSD. I also know that God is in control and has a plan for all of us. I find great comfort in that!
Even Now......Gina
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Response from the White House
So, I decided to write a letter to the first lady. She has been passionate about helping military families so I thought maybe it would do some good. After all, if we don't share our stories with those who can make change happen, how can we ever expect them to do something for us? I posted a copy of that letter on my blog, http://theinvisiblewounded.blogspot.com/2011/01/letter-to-michelle-obama.html. I emailed the letter to the white house and also followed that up with a hard copy in snail mail. I wasn't sure which way was best, so figured I would do both.
To be honest, I was a little disappointed when I never received a response. I expected it to take several weeks before getting one, but I really didn't think I'd not hear anything. Well, that all changed last week when I received a call from the White House! Allen answered the phone and brought it to me whispering to me that it was the guy from the white house. I was completely confused while trying to figure out why our neighbor who lives in the "white" house was calling for me. (He's the manager of our walmart so I was completely confused.) Soon after saying hello my confusion cleared up. It wasn't our neighbor from the "white" house, it was Tyler, from THE White House! Tyler is a staffer there and told me that the first lady had received my letter and was considering using a quote out of it for an upcoming speech. They needed to get my permission as well as all of my personal information. He also informed me that things can always change but he would let me know if they decided to go ahead and use my letter.
I was completely thrilled to know the impact simply writing a letter could have. I have always heard people encouraging others to write their elected officials but honestly, I never really figured it did much good. I now am an avid fan of writing or calling your elected officials! (I know she's not elected, but it seems to be about the same thing.) Whether she used my letter or not, I was deeply honored and humbled that she received, read, and was impacted by my words and story. Now, we just had to wait to hear from them again.
Much to my surprise I didn't have to wait long. On Tuesday, January 10, Tyler called me again. Mrs. Obama was going to be making a speech at Virginia Commonwealth University and was going to include part of my letter in her remarks. We could log onto the universities website and watch the live feed on Wednesday afternoon. I didn't know what she was going to be talking about, but was eager to hear her speak. (The only thing better would have been to be able to be there live!)
Allen and I set up both of our laptops, side by side and tuned in. We were hoping that our internet didn't spend a lot of time buffering but we didn't have much control over that. Thankfully, it wasn't too bad, and we were able to watch most of the speech uninterrupted. Her speech was amazing. Of course it was special to me because she called me by name and used part of my letter. But, even without that, I was deeply touched by her speech. She gets "it". Not many people, unless they are personally touched by the invisible wounds of war get "it". She however seems to have a pretty good grasp on it as well as a passion for helping us. It is refreshing to see that people who have the power to make changes are truly listening.
The main topic in her speech was launching a new initiative between 105 medical schools to devote more training, time, and resources for their students to treat PTSD, TBI and other "invisible" wounds of war. These schools have committed to fund research as well. It is an exciting time for wounded warrior families, although it can't come soon enough. Many are still really struggling everyday for basic care and benefits.
To hear Mrs. Obama's speech in it's entirety, go to http://www.youtube.com/vcu#p/u/5/dR8ye3ADC90 . The part where she quotes my letter is at about the 20 minute 40 second mark. But, I encourage you to listen to the entire speech.
Thank you Mrs. Obama for all you do for military families, specifically wounded warriors and their families. It is refreshing to see someone remember the entire family and not just the service member/veteran.
Even Now.......Gina
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Sorry For My Absence
I realize that I've been missing in action since the first part of December. December was a crazy month for us and quite frankly, I needed a break from everything technology related! So, this is really just a bit of an update on all of us.
Sickness was the word of the month for us at the Hill house. Hopefully that means that we have all had everything going around this winter and will not get sick again. We were all sick right before Christmas and most of us were sick numerous times throughout the Christmas break. We had bronchial infections, coughs, runny noses, sneezes, tummy trouble and fevers. It was not a fun time, but we are all feeling much better now!
While it was great all being home in our new house for Christmas this year, it was a tough time. Allen really struggled with depression and other PTSD symptoms. He spent A LOT of time in his quiet room but we made it through. The boys had a great Christmas, and we spent it with my sister and parents. We also enjoyed our time with Little Allen, Allen's oldest son who lives in Dallas. He stayed here a week and we all miss him now that he's back home. It did all of us good to spend some much needed time with him again. Allen felt guilty being in his room so much, but it was what he needed to make it through the holidays. We are so thankful to have that space for him. It has made a world of difference.
New Year's Eve was our 9th wedding anniversary. Typically we go spend it at my sister's house, but didn't this year as Makale had basketball practice. We decided to just stay home and have a few friends over. The boys had a great time as they each had friends over too. Allen was able to mingle for a little while before retreating to his quiet room where he and a friend watched a movie. We are quickly learning that a lot of people even at home is very stressful for him.
It's hard to believe that we were married 9 years ago! Anniversaries for anything always make me reflect back to the initial event. I thought back about what I dreamed our life would be like by now on our wedding day. Never did this life enter my mind. With that being said, while it's not easy most of the time, I wouldn't change it for anything. The things we've gone through have made me realize that difficulties aren't necessarily a bad thing, but more often than not a blessing in disguise.
Today is a big day for Allen. He is starting back to school at Ottawa University where they gave him and the boys each a full ride scholarship. He will be taking a computer programming class. He is starting with just one class this semester to see how he does and if he is ready to embark on going back to school. I will be attending class with him at least until he is comfortable enough to be in class on his own. He has a small class, only 13 including him and he already checked out the room and knows the professor. I hope that we have done everything to help him be successful. He is really excited and I think it will help alleviate some of the depression he deals with. He will also have a "life coach" type advisory that will be able to help him if he needs any special accommodations or tutoring. I think OU is going to be a good fit for him. Of course, I think it's cool that we will potentially all have degrees from OU, my alma mater!!
Silent Siren is continuing to develop. It is a lot of work and there is still much to be done, but we are making strides and getting the word out slowly but surely. Stay tuned as we develop. We can always use funding, so if you are looking for somewhere to donate to this year, please consider us. There is a donate tab on our website at www.silentsiren.org and can all be done online. Or, if you prefer to send a check, you can email me through the tab on my blog and I can get you an address to mail a check to.
Happy New Year to you all! May you have a blessed 2012!
Sickness was the word of the month for us at the Hill house. Hopefully that means that we have all had everything going around this winter and will not get sick again. We were all sick right before Christmas and most of us were sick numerous times throughout the Christmas break. We had bronchial infections, coughs, runny noses, sneezes, tummy trouble and fevers. It was not a fun time, but we are all feeling much better now!
While it was great all being home in our new house for Christmas this year, it was a tough time. Allen really struggled with depression and other PTSD symptoms. He spent A LOT of time in his quiet room but we made it through. The boys had a great Christmas, and we spent it with my sister and parents. We also enjoyed our time with Little Allen, Allen's oldest son who lives in Dallas. He stayed here a week and we all miss him now that he's back home. It did all of us good to spend some much needed time with him again. Allen felt guilty being in his room so much, but it was what he needed to make it through the holidays. We are so thankful to have that space for him. It has made a world of difference.
New Year's Eve was our 9th wedding anniversary. Typically we go spend it at my sister's house, but didn't this year as Makale had basketball practice. We decided to just stay home and have a few friends over. The boys had a great time as they each had friends over too. Allen was able to mingle for a little while before retreating to his quiet room where he and a friend watched a movie. We are quickly learning that a lot of people even at home is very stressful for him.
It's hard to believe that we were married 9 years ago! Anniversaries for anything always make me reflect back to the initial event. I thought back about what I dreamed our life would be like by now on our wedding day. Never did this life enter my mind. With that being said, while it's not easy most of the time, I wouldn't change it for anything. The things we've gone through have made me realize that difficulties aren't necessarily a bad thing, but more often than not a blessing in disguise.
Today is a big day for Allen. He is starting back to school at Ottawa University where they gave him and the boys each a full ride scholarship. He will be taking a computer programming class. He is starting with just one class this semester to see how he does and if he is ready to embark on going back to school. I will be attending class with him at least until he is comfortable enough to be in class on his own. He has a small class, only 13 including him and he already checked out the room and knows the professor. I hope that we have done everything to help him be successful. He is really excited and I think it will help alleviate some of the depression he deals with. He will also have a "life coach" type advisory that will be able to help him if he needs any special accommodations or tutoring. I think OU is going to be a good fit for him. Of course, I think it's cool that we will potentially all have degrees from OU, my alma mater!!
Silent Siren is continuing to develop. It is a lot of work and there is still much to be done, but we are making strides and getting the word out slowly but surely. Stay tuned as we develop. We can always use funding, so if you are looking for somewhere to donate to this year, please consider us. There is a donate tab on our website at www.silentsiren.org and can all be done online. Or, if you prefer to send a check, you can email me through the tab on my blog and I can get you an address to mail a check to.
Happy New Year to you all! May you have a blessed 2012!
Even Now.......Gina
Monday, December 5, 2011
Slipping
One of the greatest things I struggle with is how and when to help my husband when I see him beginning to slip. After almost 4 really good months, I am really beginning to see some pretty big signs that my husband is slipping again. I know what his rock bottom looks like, and I NEVER want to see that again.
This time of year is typically very hard for him. I always see more depression and other symptoms come to the surface during this time of the year. I guess I had just hoped that it was going to be different this year.
About a month ago the not sleeping at night started again. We made a slight adjustment to meds in order to help this but not sure it has. He's still not sleeping well at night and then he wants to sleep all day. I hate this vicious cycle. I talk to him and he agrees with me and stays awake and busy for a couple of days, but then goes right back to sleeping during the day again. He can even tell me what the sleep experts say about this, but then can't follow through. I think the not sleeping fuels the depression, which in turn fuels the sleeping during the day. He uses it as an avoidance, as a way of isolating. I see it, talk to him about it, think he gets it, but then here we are again every couple of days. I begin feeling like a nagging wife constantly riding him about what he's doing or not doing and I hate it!! However, the other side is if I just leave him alone, he will spend his entire day in bed and then once again not sleep at night. I can't seem to find the balance in supporting him.
He plans to start school again next month and I've really struggled with whether or not this is a good idea. On the one hand, it will give him something to get up for everyday. It is something he has wanted to do for a long time and has the opportunity to go again. However, the other side of that is the added stress school is going to bring which is never good for him. Ultimately it is his decision, but I worry none the less.
Thankfully, this too shall pass. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.
This time of year is typically very hard for him. I always see more depression and other symptoms come to the surface during this time of the year. I guess I had just hoped that it was going to be different this year.
About a month ago the not sleeping at night started again. We made a slight adjustment to meds in order to help this but not sure it has. He's still not sleeping well at night and then he wants to sleep all day. I hate this vicious cycle. I talk to him and he agrees with me and stays awake and busy for a couple of days, but then goes right back to sleeping during the day again. He can even tell me what the sleep experts say about this, but then can't follow through. I think the not sleeping fuels the depression, which in turn fuels the sleeping during the day. He uses it as an avoidance, as a way of isolating. I see it, talk to him about it, think he gets it, but then here we are again every couple of days. I begin feeling like a nagging wife constantly riding him about what he's doing or not doing and I hate it!! However, the other side is if I just leave him alone, he will spend his entire day in bed and then once again not sleep at night. I can't seem to find the balance in supporting him.
He plans to start school again next month and I've really struggled with whether or not this is a good idea. On the one hand, it will give him something to get up for everyday. It is something he has wanted to do for a long time and has the opportunity to go again. However, the other side of that is the added stress school is going to bring which is never good for him. Ultimately it is his decision, but I worry none the less.
Thankfully, this too shall pass. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.
Even Now........Gina
Friday, November 11, 2011
Veteran's Day Parade
The original plan was for the kids to ride in the back of the truck with Allen and Dave and Frankie and Harry (their service dogs), while Meaghan and I rode in the front (where it was warm!)!! We ended up switching that though and had my sister drive the truck (I was afraid I might get distracted and end up running over a tuba player in front of us), Meaghan, Makale, and Abbey rode in the front, with the little kids in the back. I rode on the tail gate while Allen, Frankie, Dave and Harry walked behind us. That way if there was a problem with Allen I could jump off and help.
The little kids were so excited to throw out candy! I went to the store and bought a BUNCH of left over halloween candy on clearance so they would have plenty, or so I thought! They ran out in the first block! The parade ran from 5th for about 6 blocks. They have a small ceremony in the middle of the parade, with a 21 gun salute, short speaker, national anthem, and a fly over. Well, we were stopped right in the intersection, only a block into the parade for the ceremony. If you can imagine this was highly stressful as we are in the middle of downtown, in the middle of an intersection with people everywhere, a fly over, and then the 21 gun salute. Dave had to walk away from it all but was able to take care of himself and get away. Allen sort of froze. I was able to talk to him throughout though and keep him here. It was amazing! I was pretty nervous while we were going through it, but it was great for him to make it through. What a boost in confidence!! He was even able to enjoy the rest of the parade after we started moving again!! I just walked with him the rest of the way which was actually pretty cool!
Since our show had just aired the night before everyone was yelling our names and clapping for us. It was a bit overwhelming and kind of weird, but it was good that we could be there. I think it helped for people to be able to see us and wave to us to make it seem more normal. I was so proud of Allen and Dave for doing what they had to in order to take care of themselves. Not long ago, neither one of them would have been able to take care of themselves in that situation. Proud of you guys!!
It did take a toll on Allen later that day. We came home and he had a headache and needed some rest. Once again though, he took care of himself which is such a huge improvement. He went into his quiet room, took a little nap and regrouped and then was able to join us again later that afternoon. We still had a house full of company and he really enjoyed them. It was so great to see such a huge improvement in a year's time. Last year at this time I wasn't sure if he would ever be able to live with us in a home environment again or if we would have to find somewhere for him to live long term.
It just goes to show that God is good. He has a plan for us if we will just take the time to listen. Allen put in so much hard work that wasn't easy, but he is so much better now because of it. Today on Veteran's Day, 11-11-11, I want to thank Allen for his self less sacrifice and service to our great nation as well as all of the other veteran's past, present, and future. America is great because of you! Allen you are my true hero!
Even Now.......Gina
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Thank you, thank you , thank you......
Those two little words just do not seem to be enough, but I don't know what else to say. I am beyond grateful everyone who had anything to do with our build. I know that I will never know you all and be able to thank you personally, but know that we are forever grateful.
It is so amazing to be see the dedication, love, hard work, and sacrifices of so many come together to help bring our family together again. I am so humbled by it all. Please know, that me and my entire family are very thankful to have such a supportive community surrounding us. We know the conditions were extreme, and we appreciate everyone!
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for the donations, time, sweat, energy, time and everything else that was given for us. We will never forget all of that and will do our best to pay it forward every chance we get.
It is so amazing to be see the dedication, love, hard work, and sacrifices of so many come together to help bring our family together again. I am so humbled by it all. Please know, that me and my entire family are very thankful to have such a supportive community surrounding us. We know the conditions were extreme, and we appreciate everyone!
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for the donations, time, sweat, energy, time and everything else that was given for us. We will never forget all of that and will do our best to pay it forward every chance we get.
Even Now......Gina
Friday, November 4, 2011
Silent Siren
You can learn more about this unique PTSD alert program by logging on to our new website at www.silentsiren.org . Please help us grow by sharing our link, facebook page, and twitter! You can also donate to Silent Siren through our website.
Through our journey of being a wounded warrior family we have had many struggles, but we have also been incredibly blessed. We are happy to be able to give back and share our story to help pave a better road for those who will follow in a similar journey. We hope that we can use our voice and story to speak for other families struggling with PTSD. We are extremely honored and humbled that we have been given this opportunity to speak out and fight the stigma.
None of this would be possible without my amazing team who has believed in my idea from the first time I shared it with them. I want to thank Dr. Ike Nnawuchi, Emily Smith, John Steed, and Theresa Emerson for their belief in me and my idea, their hard work and dedication in making this dream a reality, and their commitment to see it through. We love you guys!
I also want to thank Karla Smith Foundation for deciding to make this a program under their foundation. I am proud to partner with them and work together to help bridge the gap between families supporting a loved one with PTSD and emergency services personnel. I am excited to see where this goes!
Please support our new program in any way you can. Thank you!
Even Now.......Gina
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
Well, the big day is finally almost here. In less than 24 hours our episode will have aired and the big build up will be over! We have a pretty big day planned for tomorrow and unfortunately, we probably won't be getting much sleep tonight due to our anticipation!!
Our local ABC affiliate, KMBC9 news will be here broadcasting live from our house for their morning show. They wanted to be here from 4:30-9:00, yes that's am!!! We decided that the earliest we would be available is 6:30 and the boys aren't too happy about that early! So, they will be here from 6:30-9:00 tomorrow morning. I must admit, the live interviews make me a bit nervous! I've gotten pretty used to the recorded ones and the ability to edit and start over. Live makes me a little anxious! While they are here in the morning, they will also be filming some segments for their 5:00 and 6:00 editions, and will then return around 8:00 to be here for some of our watch party. On the 10:00 news, they will then show the party and some of the inside of the house. Pretty big day!
I'm so excited that our friend's are coming in from South Carolina to share this day with us. The Long Family will be here for the weekend. We are all happy about this and can't wait to see them. It really means a lot to me that they took the time to come share this with us. We've been through a lot together and it will be so good for us to just be able to be together again!
I hope you are all able to tune into the news stories as well as our episode on Extreme Makeover Home Edition tomorrow, November 4! We are excited to see how it all turns out and how much awareness it will raise for PTSD.
We are also launching our own program tomorrow and I am going to post about it all on it's own! So, there will be 2 posts tonight because it's such a big day!! Thank you all for your support!
Our local ABC affiliate, KMBC9 news will be here broadcasting live from our house for their morning show. They wanted to be here from 4:30-9:00, yes that's am!!! We decided that the earliest we would be available is 6:30 and the boys aren't too happy about that early! So, they will be here from 6:30-9:00 tomorrow morning. I must admit, the live interviews make me a bit nervous! I've gotten pretty used to the recorded ones and the ability to edit and start over. Live makes me a little anxious! While they are here in the morning, they will also be filming some segments for their 5:00 and 6:00 editions, and will then return around 8:00 to be here for some of our watch party. On the 10:00 news, they will then show the party and some of the inside of the house. Pretty big day!
I'm so excited that our friend's are coming in from South Carolina to share this day with us. The Long Family will be here for the weekend. We are all happy about this and can't wait to see them. It really means a lot to me that they took the time to come share this with us. We've been through a lot together and it will be so good for us to just be able to be together again!
I hope you are all able to tune into the news stories as well as our episode on Extreme Makeover Home Edition tomorrow, November 4! We are excited to see how it all turns out and how much awareness it will raise for PTSD.
We are also launching our own program tomorrow and I am going to post about it all on it's own! So, there will be 2 posts tonight because it's such a big day!! Thank you all for your support!
Even Now.......Gina
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Getting a New Look
Yes, my blog has had a makeover!! We are in the process of launching our own program on Friday, November 4 with the premiere of our episode on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and wanted to tie my blog into our new website. In order to make them connected, we gave my blog a makeover!!
Please don't think you are on the wrong blog! It is still me, Gina writing about our everyday life as we deal with PTSD. Stay tuned for a big announcement of our program and website in a day or two! Thanks for all of your support you have shown our family. We definitely wouldn't be where we are without the love and support we get from our family, friends, and community.
Please don't think you are on the wrong blog! It is still me, Gina writing about our everyday life as we deal with PTSD. Stay tuned for a big announcement of our program and website in a day or two! Thanks for all of your support you have shown our family. We definitely wouldn't be where we are without the love and support we get from our family, friends, and community.
Even Now.......Gina
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
I'm so excited to see how much awareness this episode will bring to PTSD and other mental illnesses. It is not only our hope that Allen will continue to do well here, but also that it will raise awareness and reduce the stigma associated with PTSD!! I truly hope that this episode will have a huge impact on our nation to help everyone struggling with these illnesses.
There are a couple of sneak peek's available and can be found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFBNkwNaZm8 and http://abc.go.com/watch/clip/extreme-makeover-home-edition/SH006334870000/PL5557254/VD55150498/hill-family-sneak-peek/promos . Grab your tissues, they are really emotional, at least for me!! Please feel free to share this blog post, sneak peeks, or anything else to get the word out on this important show!
Stay tuned later this week for some other exciting announcements!!
Even Now........Gina
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Joplin: Finding Hope
Today my family and I spent the day on the Extreme Makeover build site in Joplin, Missouri. It was so amazing getting to see the process from both sides. I was amazed at how quickly things progress on these sites!! One of the greatest things here though is to see the hope that these people have here. It is so inspiring to see people living through so much fear and devastation rise up and prosper.
It was also great seeing the production team again from our build and the designers. We had so much fun hanging out with them again. We were also able to meet many of the people that worked behind the scenes on our build which we never would have been able to see. They all seemed really happy to see us again as well and to see how well we are all doing. Many of them said how rare it is for them to get to see the families again after they leave and how great it is for them to see how well Allen is doing. They said they had really wondered how much the house had helped us and how Allen was doing. So it was great being here for many reasons!!
We found an organization here that is called The Hope Station. You can check them out at www.thehopestation.org and it will be worth your time! They have these amazing t-shirts that inspire hope and healing and the stories behind the people. They were here giving away t-shirts for hope! We got several different ones and plan to order some online as well. For every shirt they sell online, they give one away. Check them and their story out!!
We are all looking forward to being back on sight tomorrow!! It is at times a struggle for Allen as much of it still looks like a war zone. Seeing the hospital was very eery for him. However, he is a trooper and keeps pushing himself to get through it. I'm so proud of him and how well he is doing. He is regularly stepping out of his comfort zone and trying things he never would have a year ago. He amazes me often and inspires me even more. He's my hero!!
It was also great seeing the production team again from our build and the designers. We had so much fun hanging out with them again. We were also able to meet many of the people that worked behind the scenes on our build which we never would have been able to see. They all seemed really happy to see us again as well and to see how well we are all doing. Many of them said how rare it is for them to get to see the families again after they leave and how great it is for them to see how well Allen is doing. They said they had really wondered how much the house had helped us and how Allen was doing. So it was great being here for many reasons!!
We found an organization here that is called The Hope Station. You can check them out at www.thehopestation.org and it will be worth your time! They have these amazing t-shirts that inspire hope and healing and the stories behind the people. They were here giving away t-shirts for hope! We got several different ones and plan to order some online as well. For every shirt they sell online, they give one away. Check them and their story out!!
We are all looking forward to being back on sight tomorrow!! It is at times a struggle for Allen as much of it still looks like a war zone. Seeing the hospital was very eery for him. However, he is a trooper and keeps pushing himself to get through it. I'm so proud of him and how well he is doing. He is regularly stepping out of his comfort zone and trying things he never would have a year ago. He amazes me often and inspires me even more. He's my hero!!
Even Now.......Gina
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